I went drinking with an Englishman who told me about a friend named Frank, made redundant by a bank.
I said, “That sounds like a limerick”.
Two days later, I sent him the following:
(to be read with ultra-snooty British accent)
[trumpet fanfare]
A lowly accounts clerk named Frank
Was employed by a reputable Bank
When rendered redundant
By crises abundant
He stumbled and staggered and sank.
My God! said the downtrodden Frank
I've slaved 30 years for the Bank
This "crawft" I have "mawstawd"
So some scheming "bawstawd"
Can swindle me out of my rank.
By Jove! said the crafty young Frank
I'll wreak my revenge on the Bank
The entries I'll alt-awh
And fill up Gibralt-awh
And Caicos and Caiman and Manx.
The vengeful young villain named Frank
Embezzled so much that it stank
He fiddled the ledge-awhs
Of swapp-awhs and hedge-awhs
And wired the swag to his bank.
Hi-Ho! Said the thief as he drank
I've diddled and fiddled the Bank
In silken pi-jawhmas
I'll haunt the Ba-hawhmas
With a sporty young bird on my flank.
My God! said the head of the Bank
We've swindled the world, but not Frank
He who laughs lawh-stest
And swindles the fawh-stest
Can buy off the law and live swank.