As the year 2000 approaches, we can well expect an increased activity on the part of the "end times" nitwits. Calendar years mean nothing to the events of the world, whether seasons or the mating of chipmunks. Man invented the calendar -- God didn't, and to believe that He shapes events around some convenient notion of man, is a massive, and arrogant presumption. Christians -- those bizarre critters who can call themselves humble and yet claim to be something special -- are mainly responsible for these antics and delusions.

I glanced at the TV program, International Intelligence Briefing, featuring the scamming duo Cliff Ford and Hal Lindsey. Hal has authored several books dealing with some Apocalypse, and its attendant repeatedly prophesied mischief. While these two charlatans yammer about how the "end is near," they nevertheless manage to offer advice about the buying stocks and bonds. If I knew that I would die sometime in the very near future, I'd certainly not be interested in any long-term investing. Christian ding-a-lings, however, never seem to grasp this connection and I am sure that Hal and Cliff have salted away enough boodle to maintain a satisfactory retirement life in Miami Beach during Armageddon.

Hal whispered something about the rains on the plain, which were "a record high." Obviously, this means that Jesus is about to descend for a swim or a walk about. This version of "it never happened before" or "it's bigger than anything in the past," deserves a passing comment. At some point in time, prior to Hal's exhortation about the current el niño rainfalls, there must have been a date whereby IT was THE HIGH! Don't pray. Just think about it.

Of course, the hokum peddlers simply could not exit the program without some mutter about Zyklon B, greenhouse or other horrible ethnic gases. The greenhouse gas remains principally, or entirely, carbon dioxide depending upon which expert you prime with vodka. This gas, according to some, is responsible for the global warming greenhouse effect. Antarctica will melt; the penguins will all fly north and Denver will become a sea port. I can hardly wait and my Polaroid is at the ready.

The jews always grab soap and a towel whenever someone yells "gas." The envious goyim needed a gas of their own and they found it in carbon dioxide. And where does all of this gas come from? From the burning of fossil fuels! (There's that gas/burning thing again.) Horrible trucks! Naughty automobiles! Evil factories! They should all hang their exhaust tubes in shame.

Fossil fuels, your rump! The major source of carbon dioxide is from expiration (one phase of breathing), that is, the exhaling which all animal life finds necessary. It's odd that this is never mentioned at all. Carbon dioxide results from the combining of oxygen and carbon. Carbon is a major component in gasoline as well as in corn flakes. The CH bond has the same energy value no matter what the source or whether those bonds are broken in the animal body, an internal combustion engine or at easy Kate's barbecue.

The average human uses about 2400 Kcal of energy per day. This can be provided by 600 grams of sugar (carbohydrate) or 266 grams of fat. This is equivalent to 252 grams, and 193 grams of carbon respectively. Assuming a natural diet, we can arrive at a figure of 242 grams of carbon burned by 1 human in 1 day. This amount of carbon is also contained in .11 gallons of gasoline.

Let's assume that the average road vehicle gets 25 miles per gallon and is driven 10,000 miles per year. This represents about 1.1 gallons of gasoline consumed per day per vehicle. At this point, we realize that 10 breathing humans contribute the same amount of carbon dioxide to the atmosphere, per day, as does 1 road vehicle. Humans breathe 24 hours per day -- all of the time. A typical automobile is in operation about 1 or 2 hours per day. Pause and let this digest.

There are 150 million vehicles in the United States and Canada. This equates, carbon dioxide wise, to 1.5 billion people. China and India together probably have 2.2 billion bipeds exhaling their greenhouse gases into the atmosphere. Thus, these Asians, by simply breathing, contribute more to the supposed greenhouse effect than do all of the motor vehicles in Canada and the U.S. combined. If this appears extraordinary, then let me point out that I have only mentioned humans. Yet, there are billions of cows, horses, sheep, birds, and so on, doing the very same thing.

By now, you begin to realize that the burning of fossil fuels, relative to human expiration, actually comes out a very poor second as a contributor of carbon dioxide. There's more.

On this planet, there are about 1.2 billion head of cattle -- cows, bulls, steers, heifers and calves. India has the greatest number. Each bovine daily passes into the air 10 times as much carbon dioxide as does 1 human. When human greenhouse gasses are added to those of the cattle, the fossil fuel malarkey gets even more pronounced. To further place the fossil fuels into a proper perspective, how about adding the effects of nearly 1 billion sheep? (Russia and Australia contain the greatest numbers. There are 22 sheep per person in New Zealand.) One billion sheep is equivalent to 1 billion humans in carbon dioxide production. If one continues on with the addition of horses, birds, dogs, etc., in fact, every animal on the face of the planet, you'll find that the fossil fuel bogeyman is not even a gnat on an elephant's caboose.

"Daw," you say, "wad bout da brown air in Los Angeles?" It's true that there are many industrial, and urban areas which have more than their share of noxious air. What I have been discussing is the world average and not some peculiar region with poor air circulation. We should not judge a man's overall condition by examining the wart on his fanny.

In God's order of things, only the plants are able to remove this pollutant (relative to animal life) from the atmosphere. So what are the human boobs doing about it? They are engaged in huge deforestation projects aimed at increasing the living space of hordes of humans of questionable value. Every tree which is felled, whether for a new home or a new highway, removes a valuable item from nature's balancing mechanism. We are drilling holes in the boat which keeps us afloat for the cause of the rising carbon dioxide concentration is the mindless killing of the great plants and subsidized human breeding.

Any society clutched in the seductive arms of Christo-Marxism, as we are, is one not destined for a ripe old age, for Nature will definitely insist upon her balance whether foolish men approve, or disapprove.

As a parting aside, let me remind you that the "veggies," and the low-fat fatheads, actually pollute the atmosphere to a greater extent than do we stone-age meat eaters.

Robert Frenz

16 June 1998